"That shirt is not your color" vs. "it looks like you can't dress yourself"

 Hey candy girls! I'm sure everyone has seen people talk about how brutal honesty is just being mean. I understand how some would think this, but I don't believe this is the exact case. So here is my take on this subject.

I will say some use "brutal honesty" as a way to justify something rude they said. We hear people say something mean then say "I'm just being honest" But in reality, there is a line between brutal honesty and insulting someone.

Being brutally honest is telling someone the truth, or even an opinion, and not sugar coating it in any way. One example is "That shirt is not your color." This statement is definitely kind of harsh, but you are not directly insulting them. And this can be useful in the person's life. If the shirt is washing them out, they would want to know (at least me personally) But saying "It looks like you don't know how to dress yourself" is just being rude. This statement is talking about the persons character rather than the issue; the shirt isn't their color. I think the line between the two is one is talking about the issue and the other is talking about the person. 

Some people will probably not agree but this is my opinion. I see more people completely insulting others and calling it "brutal honesty" than I actually see brutal honesty. We have definitely killed the term and made it into something else. Which is kind of bad really because I think we need brutal honesty sometimes. 

Let me hear your opinions candy girls!

Yours truly, 

candygirl 💋

Why don't you love me?

 Hey candy girls! I watched obsession the other night and after thinking about it and watching different vidoes about it, I wanna talk about it. 

SPOILERS AHEAD

First, I want to say I absolutely loved this movie. It was so good and very different from your modern horror. The acting was so so amazing. If you haven't watched this movie yet, I cannot recommend it enough. I literally could not explain how well this movie was made. The little hidden details make the story that much more disturbing but also makes the story so complex. 

Another thing I want to say, it is so weird and honestly concerning how many people are siding with Bear and his actions. If you watched this movie and defend Bear, either you have no idea what the movie was about, or you are just a horrible person. 

Anyways, on to actually talking about the movie! I feel like this really showed how some men will never see the wrong in their actions, and will always take the easy way out, no matter what it leaves for the other people involved. Bear forced Nicky to love him so much that it drove her crazy. Then when she got too much for him, he killed himself. Bear taking the pills was not an action to free Nicky, it was action to free himself. And then he was so quick to talk about how Nicky was acting to others, when it was literally his fault... Also, it was so obviously that even though Bear didn't like most of Nicky's actions, he was more obsessed with the fact that she loved him. Literally after taking the pills, he tries to make himself throw them up, most likely thinking about how Nicky loved him (could also be because he didn't want to die) This movie shows that men cannot take no for an answer... One main detail that I find such a good choice is that near the end of the movie after Nicky killed Sarah, Nicky had mimicked Sarah's tattoos (I think by drawing them on) and is wearing her dress. I love this detail so much, I feel like it adds so much to how Nicky was feeling. And the amount of times Nicky showed that she was still there, and Bear did absolutely nothing to comfort her or try and fix it. Instead, this child of a man says "what's so bad about loving me" omg. Maybe the fact you forced her... I don't know. Also, I want to say, it is not a coincidence that he was named Bear... But it's so terrible to think that Nicky could see everything she was doing and couldn't control it. She was literally a prisoner in her own body. Okay, I need to stop rambling. This was such a mess of my thoughts lol I'm sorry.

Anyways, Obsession was like 100/10 for me. I adore this movie so much. I will def be rewatching this movie all the time. 

Yours truly,

Candygirl 💋

Shiny face and cheer teams

Hey candy girls! First story time and I don't know how long this is going to be.. But enjoy my drama...!

So, I am kind of a part of this really toxic friend group (I've started distancing since the beginning of summer) They all hate each other and talk crap about each other. I am like the most unliked in this friend group (another reason why I'm distancing) I'm really not like the rest of them so I kind of get it. They all have strict parents and are like very sheltered and I am not at all. Their scared to even talk to a boy and judge if they see anyone kissing their partner.. Also, I think all of them are maga, very homophobic, and pro life. Which I am the complete opposite of all of that (I had an issue with one of them just on politics and we will talk about that in another post) I would never be friends with them if I knew what they are actually like. Anyways, on to like actual conflicts...

The first one I can remember is in 7th grade, this is when they all started to not like me. I heard from someone (I can't remember who now) that the whole group was saying that my face was always shiny, I guess trying to call me greasy or something😭, and that my clothes always had dog hair on them... right so what I'm hearing is that they couldn't think of anything worthy to talk about so they said some bull crap. So I tell by bsf that they are saying this about me. I don't really remember a lot of details since this was a few years ago but next thing I remember is that in my 7th period me and my bsf were sitting at a table in the back corner of the room and the rest of the group was on the complete opposite side.. This was our seating chart that me and my friend may or may not have told the teacher to make... If you can't tell, me and my friend did not like them already. But anyways, in this class my friend had the idea to go off on one of the girls. Horrible idea actually. But she did and the girl was like "what are you talking about we never said that." I don't remember the rest but it ended with nothing changing... Then the next thing I remember is sending a big huge paragraph to another one of the girls and I wish I still had that text :( I remember one line was like "and I know you gonna show everyone else this but fine with me I won't have to send it to them too" omg I thought I ate her up... Uhhh I don't remember if anything else happened cause next thing I remember is being fine with everyone again.. 

Next, last school year I had a class with one of the girls in the group. Literally she was the only person I knew in there and also, the only one out of the group I didn't really talk to.. great. So I was forced to talk to her every day and cried every day. One day I was talking about some practice at cheer. (At the time I had quit school cheer and was on an allstar cheer team while she was still on the school cheer team) And she said she wanted to do allstar but will probably wait until her junior year to start. Weird but whatever, also, wanted to cry right there. Do not come to my gym😭She was literally one of the reasons I quit school cheer, along with the rest of the group because majority of them do school cheer. Anyways, fast forward to this summer and I'm hanging out with my other little group of friends, ones that I actually like and we're not toxic people. We were all just talking about random stuff and my friend (my bsf from the story above) is like "omg I have to tell you something" and I was like, omg what. She says the friend from my class and another girl said they wanted to do allstar next year (our junior year) but they don't want to do it with me. Right okay. So one, why are telling MY BSF this... like are you that stupid?? But I mean I don't really care because I don't want to do it with them sooo.. And even if they do try out for allstar, they won't be on the same team as me because we are on completely two different levels. 

That's all that happened to me and hopefully nothing like this ever happens again... I hope you liked the storytime if you stayed till the end.

Yours truly,

Candygirl 💋